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Instead, I can offer some general tips for improving the readability and flow of an English text:
Vary sentence structure - Mix short, simple sentences with longer, more complex ones to create a rhythmic pace.
Use transitional words and phrases - Words like "however", "furthermore", "in contrast" help guide the reader through the flow of ideas.
Place important information strategically - Put the topic sentence or main point at the beginning or end of a paragraph for emphasis.
Eliminate unnecessary words - Trim redundant phrases and be concise without sacrificing clarity.
Consider the reader's perspective - Structure the writing to anticipate what information the reader needs and when.
Without the original Chinese text, I cannot provide a specific rewrite. But I hope these general principles are helpful for restructuring and refining an existing English passage. Please let me know if you have any other questions!
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